Learning how to just be

Getting used to Senegalese culture can be difficult. I have spent the last 19 months trying to learn how to just BE here. And by that, i mean letting go of the fast paced life i once led back in the states. It has not been an easy task. As an American, i think it has been hard for me to relax and just enjoy whats going on around me. Life here can be slow and at times boring. When i hang out in the village, i have a routine that has become a constan in my life. On days when i dont have much work, i spend the morning at my friend Maymuna's house and the afternoon at Janaba's house. This may sound BORING and for a long time, it WAS boring. Many volunteers find it hard to sit around and do nothing. At home, that would be considered lazy but here... well, thats just part of life. If you arent doing the same thing today as you did yesterday, you are consdiered to be "having fun" which pretty much means, spending money! When i am in the village, it seems like a do the same things over and over... and in fact, i do just that...

At Maymuna's house, i buy my breakfast at their boutique and usually stick around to chat with her mother. She is very educated for a woman for her age. She is always up for a morning conversation. Sometimes its hard for her to STOP talking actually. I think she justs likes attention from me for some reason. After a few hours doing nothing there, i end up across the village at Janaba's house. I usually help out cooking lunch and or doings odds and ends around the house. Dont get me wrong though, i am still to this day treated like an extra special guest at her house. Sometimes i stay for lunch which pretty much means i have to stick around for afternoon tea.... which means i am still there around 4 PM. I usually head home between 4 and 5.

This sounds so boring, i know. But lately, i have learned to embrace it all and just be bored. Its a great feeling to know that i do not have any real responsibilties here. Maybe i shouldnt be saying that, but im just being honest. I mean, i do have work (garden sruff, book mobile, english club, etc) but none of my work is reallly set in stone. I can change my schedule any time i want to without any consequences. I cant even remember the last time i set an alarm clock! This may sound like the ideal life... think again. It has been a real struggle to get used to. Often i feel like my work here is pointless, or unneccesary. American culture leads us to believe that success is everything. Without success, what do we really have? Here, the more successful you are, the more you are expected to give to others. Its a sad thing sometimes. I met a man last week that had just returned from Europe. He drove a nice car and wore nice clothes. He told me when he went home, he had to lie to his family(extended family; he was not married) about where he had been. If they knew he was in Europe, then they would know he was successful in his work and expect more from him. Thats a real shame.

Moving here and taking on a life that was so foreign to me has been challenging but fun too. I know that i will probably never have the option of sleeping in as late as i want and doing whatever i want, whenever i want to do it after i leave Senegal. I wont be able to go to the beach whenever i choose. I will also never be able to cancel class or work commitments at the last minute without consequences. Leaving all of that behind will be hard; however, there will be a lot to gain. I will regain my freedom of speech, my pride in success, and my independance. I will be able to choose who i marry and when i will do it. I will choose my living environment, be gay or straight, stay out late at night or come home early, or use heat or air conditioning. I will be able to eat whatever, whenever i want and have ice in every single glass that i drink out of. I will be able to sleep peaceflly at night without the risk of contracting a deadly disease such as malaria.

Being an American brings on lots of luxuries. But we deal with a lot of responsibilities too. These responsibilities consist of but are not limited to the following: a 9-5, health insurance, car insurance, cell phone payments, and mortgages. Without these things, we wouldnt be able to function correctly in America. All of these things can lead to head aches and worries about where money to pay for these things will come from. But sometimes, just sometimes, the goods outweigh the bads and we find ourselves excited about all the responsibilties of being an American because those responsibilties pave the way for the luxuries.

Part of my commitment to Peace Corps is to teach people in this culture about American life and Americans about Senegalese life. The grass may always seem greener on the other side but next time you are driving to work in your privately owned car worrying about the kids, the bills, the groceries and wishing for a life filled with no responsibilities, think again and count your blessings. Some would kill to be in your shoes.